Falling Apart
by My Wonky Socks
Summary: Jess/Becker oneshot based off of Primeval Formspring RP. Dedicated to ruthibobs who came up with the Izzabella kidnapped bunny. Jess realizes it's time to act on her feelings for Becker as he prepares to put his life on the line to save a teammate


_"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing, with a broken heart, that's still beating. In the pain there is healing. In your name I find meaning, so I'm holding on, I'm barely holding on to you." Lifehouse_

When Izzabella Lake had been brought into the ARC, Jess hadn't been sure whether she could be trusted or not. When she'd gotten involved with Rob Ryet, one of Becker's recruits, she'd been jealous of her, because she'd harbored feelings for Rob, ones he'd returned but she'd walked away. Walked away because of something she wasn't sure would ever happen, that something or someone was Captain Becker.

Jess closed her eyes briefly as she walked into the office where the anomaly had opened and Izzabella had been kidnapped. She walked up and stopped beside Becker, her body trembling. She was more than a little surprised when Becker wrapped an arm around her protectively and pulled her against his side.

"We're going to do everything we can to bring Izzabella back," he promised.

She closed her eyes, mind flashing back to only days prior, Izzabella had been being kept in a holding cell at the ARC and was now free to leave, Jess had offered for her to stay at her flat. She'd agreed and the truth was she and Jess had become good friends in those past few days.

Jess glanced up at Becker, "I know… it just scares me what could happen to her."

Becker was silent and Jess could tell he was worried too. Without thinking she reached over and laced her fingers through his, squeezing his hand tightly in reassurance.

"It's going to be fine," he reassured her again.

Jess was suddenly hit with a sudden spell of lightheadedness, she leaned her body weight into Becker, who stood completely still, letting her use him for support until it passed.

"Sorry," she murmured, "Just got a little light headed all of a sudden, it'll pass."

"It's fine," he replied quietly.

Finally regaining her sense of balance, she shifted her weight off Becker.

"So what are we going to do about Izzabella?" she asked.

He hesitated before answering, "There doesn't seem to be much of a choice, we're going to have to go through an anomaly."

In that second, Jess suddenly felt as if her world was crashing around her. If he went through that anomaly, he could be killed.

Jess turned to face him, opening her mouth to ask him to stay, beg if she had to. She closed it again before she could get the first word out and walked into the hall, leaning against the wall. She realized how incredibly selfish she was being, to even consider asking that.

"Are you alright?" Becker asked.

Jess wiped away the tears that had started to fall quickly, not having realized she'd been followed.

"Just trying to stop myself from doing something incredibly selfish," she admitted.

"Which is?" he inquired.

She looked away, unable to meet his gaze as she spoke the next words.

"Beg you not to go through an anomaly after Izzabella, because these people are dangerous, and because I need you and the thought of what could happen to you terrifies me," she said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Nothing is going to happen to me Jess. I know the risks, which are the main reasons I'm against going through anomalies, but this is the only way we can bring Izzabella back," he said quietly.

Jess could feel the tears falling freely, "Do you think I don't know that? Why do you think I said I was being selfish?" she cried.

Becker looked away from her briefly, his face pained, "Please don't cry, Jess. I can't stand it when you cry," he said, pulling her into a hug.

She hugged him back tightly, "I'm sorry…this isn't me…I'm the one that always holds it together…so why can't I right now?" she asked, voice still shaky.

"It's going to be alright, Jessica."

In that moment, she knew she had to tell him, she couldn't let him go without doing so. She looked up and met his gaze with a small smile.

"This is your fault, you know," she mused.

His eyes filled with confusion and he went to speak, but she cut him off.

"This is your fault for making me love you more than I thought it was possible to love another person."

His expression changed, a small smile quirking his lips, and a fierce hunger in his eyes.

"And for once, I'm content with it being my fault."

She met his eyes, an equal hunger reflected there and leaned up and kissed him passionately.

"Are you taking the team through tonight or tomorrow?" she asked without removing her lips from his.

He kissed her back with a returned hunger before responding.

"We don't have an opener," he said.

"Can you put Holland in charge of organizing it and drive me home? ….I just… I want to be with you before you have to go."

"Alright," he said without hesitation, "Give me five minutes and I'll meet you at my car."

As Jess walked to the garage, she was surprised at how brazen she'd been. She reached up and touched her lips, already missing the feel of his against them.

She reached over and took his hand as he drove,

"Thank you," she murmured.

"It's nothing," he said simply, pulling up in front of her house.

She led him inside before speaking again,

"Yes it is, I know you prefer organizing these things yourself, I just…" she faltered, looking for the right words before sighing in defeat and leaning up and kissing him.

He kissed her back deeply, hands moving down her waist, "It doesn't matter, Holland knows what he's doing. I think."

"If he didn't, you wouldn't have made him your second in command," she said between kisses, "Now, I need a favor…distract me, I just don't want to think about what's going to happen tomorrow."

"I'll be glad to," he said, tilting her chin up and beginning to kiss down her neck.

She gasped as his teeth grazed the sensitive flesh. When his lips finally found hers again, she kissed back hungrily, pulling him towards the bedroom.

Making love to Becker was incredible, she'd never been the type to seek physical distraction before, but with him, it was different. At that moment she just wanted to feel close to him in every way possible.

"I love you, Jessica," he murmured into her hair, as she lay with her head on his chest.

"I love you too, Becker."


End file.
